New Year's Resolutions?

Ok... it's January 2nd... I think I am behind on the New Year's Resolutions thing. I got a comment from my Sister-In-Law the other day (Hi Steph!) saying that she hoped that one of my resolutions would be to blog more... the blogosphere is as full as the health clubs with New year's decisions... Then Sheila and I had a long conversation last night about goals, resolutions and such that starts be thinking...

What is a New Year's resolution? I mean think about it... they say the proof is in the pudding, right? So if, in the end, the list of resolutions winds up being a well intentioned list of failures, why would I want to make a list of things to fail at... I mean... I can fail without a list (I have been awesome at it for 34 years!)

So, here is the deal. The New Year feels like we get a fresh start and the fresh start makes me want to get started on some new things. So, I look back at the last few years... did I make progress because I didn't make a list or did I miss out on making MORE progress because I didn't make a list?

In the end, the only thing we have for sure is the past. Who we have been before - who we wish we would have been. And, as I think about it, the best way to resolve for the New Year is by looking back at the regrets I have for the past few.

So, here goes...

I want to be the father I wish I was for the past few years. I want to play more... love more... laugh more and be more consistent.

I want to be the Husband that I wish I was for the past few years. I want to help more... be more romantic... love more... serve more (and do what made me a father more :-)

I want to be the friend that I wish I was for the past few years. I want to care more about what is going on in my friends lives (and less about how it impacts me)... I want to laugh more (I never regret laughing more)... I want to be more willing to speak truth in love (and be more articulate).

I want to be the pastor that I wish I was for the past few years. I want to lead stronger... focus better and make sure that people can see through me to the Cross. I want people to take me off of the pedestal and put Jesus there (He is much better at King of the Mountain than I am). I want people to hear Truth from me presented in a way that lets the Cross do the offending. I want people to understand who God is and learn to walk with Him because they were close to me. I want to offend more legalists.

I want to be the Christian that I wish I was for the past few years. I want to learn what it means to walk WITH God rather than trying to play catch up. I want to know more about what it means to be pleased with Who He is rather than trying to do something to make Him pleased with who i am (small i intentional). I want to find clarity in my calling - I am tired of being confused all of the time. I would love it if God would help me to long for his presence - to need him like I need air - I would love to passionately pursue a relationship with Him. I want to love the lost... I mean I want to FALL IN LOVE with people who don't know Him... love them like He does.

They are not resolutions - I am not making some statement of my goals for the year that I will soon abandon or lose (it does help that they are stored on the web though)... these are a list of failures that I would like to make shorter next year.

In the end, the best definition of discipleship I have heard to date came from my friend Doug Schrock (who I am sure is not reading this)... he said "I want to be more like Jesus tomorrow than I am today." Now, is that a resolution? I don't know, but it sounds like a great mantra to live by... it will make me a better father, husband, friend, pastor and believer tomorrow than I am today!

Thanks for reading...

Jeremy